New Friends

New Friends

I am not quick to make new friends. People who know me might be surprised to hear me say that, however, it really is the truth. When I meet someone for the first time, I usually make quite an effort to make a good impression. I will pay extra attention to what they have to say and be quick to hold up my end of the conversation. I appear to be animated, funny, witty and very conversational. However, I must admit that this tends to be a big show, that I usually can't follow through on, and it tends to get me into a lot of needless problems.

I have found that the people that I consider to be my true friends, do not always include people who consider me to be their friend. In fact, a number of relationships that I currently have in my roster would only be classified under 'associates' in my books, whereas I fear that I was long ago filed in their 'friend' category. I feel pretty bad about that, don't get me wrong. I never mean to lead people on. But I usually find that in a very short time, I will be somewhat disillusioned with any given new person that I've met. Yet, I find that they are completely enamored with me and consider me to be their new best friend. Then I am left with the quandary of what to do. How do I cut myself loose, without hurting their feelings?

Perhaps my definition of the word friend has a different meaning than it does to other people. Or perhaps they simply haven't given the notion as much thought as I have. But to me, a friend is someone who is deserving of my loyalty, attention and time, and who is in a position to operate on a give and take basis. I value my friends, respect their decisions and admire their qualities. Friends can last a lifetime, whereas associates come and go. With associates you don't love 'em, you don't hate 'em, but you can certainly do without 'em.

I hope that in the future, I can be more discerning about people right from the start, by finding a balanced approach so as not to lose out on the opportunity to make new friends, but also to avoid getting myself tangled up with individuals who don't offer the substance that I need for true friendship.