father
Can a single Dad be a good father? Sure he can! But maybe a single man should also ask What’s your problem? Just because you’re not divorced, doesn’t mean that you’re a better father. It’s really such a pity that our society considers someone as a dead loss parent just because he’s no longer married. There are a lot of great single fathers out there and you can learn a lot from them.
Understanding it. You have got to realise that children suffer a great deal from the consequences of having only one parent. It could have from irate parents, from separation anxiety or any number of things: it’s a tough world out there for children whose parents are divorced, getting divorced, or who are just single.
Preserving a relationship with the kids require sacrifice. Usually, both mother and father have to be able to set aside their differences long enough to inspect the damage that they have both caused to their children. More often than not, parents get so engrossed with their emotional pain that they fail to notice that their children suffer even more than they do.
If you are a single parent this is very difficult. Dating for Dads and dating for mothers is the answer – don’t rush into things, but children need two parents and when you’re ready, you should get another partner.
Investigations show that when both parents make a deliberate effort to stay friendly to each other, then they will have more successful and stable children. What else do you need to know? Children require a parent of each sex. Never think that dating for single dads or single mother is out of the question. In fact, it is important for the children. But you knew that already, didn’t you?
Study: To make the importance of a father being close to his children more obvious, the State University of Arizona conducted a study of college students whose parents were divorced. The researchers observed personality, emotional and mental maturity, health, and even interest in school and success. The researchers found evidence that supports the idea that whichever parent had primary custody, it is certain that children need access to adults of both sexes. Widow(er)s need to get back into society for the sake of their children and the,selves.
Results: The findings are very surprising. statistics quite clearly show that kids who have only one parent have healthier and more mature relationships than their parents and make a conscious effort of keeping their family together.
61% of the children involved in the study asserted that their mum or whoever had primary custodianship moved them at least an hour’s drive away from the other parent. One of the concerns expressed by the students was getting caught in the crossfire. Also, when they stayed with one parent, future financial help (like for school or college) lessened. For example, if they stayed with Dad, Mum gave less when college came, and vice versa. So, the fact is that the 1 hour’s distance already had a negative effect on the children.
Emotional upheaval cannot be avoided, but a keener inspection of the kids showed that those whose parents kept them close have a healthier disposition emotionally and mentally.
Results: so, in a nut-shell, the case study demonstrates that divorce does affect the kids. The way the parents treat each other and the distance they live apart does have a very significant impact that could tip the scales as to whether a child succeeds or not. It is difficult to make friends with an ex-wife after all that has transpired, but it will be even more difficult for you as a divorced or separated Dad, when you see your children suffer from the consequences of your decisions.
As a divorced father, it is it is up to you. You owe it to yourself and to your children to make first step to remaining close.
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Tags: advice, bereavement, divorce, family, father, happiness, men's issues, other, self help, singles, social issues, society, Uncategorized, widower.
Filed under Uncategorized by Owen Jones on Aug 17th, 2010. Comment.